Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine
by HULY
Summary: If you're a Mainer you know this story is about Oakhurst milk. A Bad Luck fan from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. When Shuichi gives some to his idol they try to get more by going to the USA. Full summary inside. Includes special extras.
1. I Can't Believe It's Not New Milk Milk

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki, one-sided Tohma/Yuki Tatsuha/Ryuichi  
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.)  
  
Key: ~ Shuichi's thoughts ~ :: Yuki's thoughts ::  
  
---  
  
Chapter One: I Can't Believe It's Not New Milk Milk  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
~ Woah. 0.0 I just can't believe this. ~  
  
~ I mean, they said it was good, but woah. This stuff is awesome. ~  
  
I'm just staring at that bottle. That bottle of delicious, white liquid that came in the mail. Not from Yuki.  
  
~ I can't BELIEVE that was sent here LAST MONTH! ~  
  
~ It tastes more like it was just bought! ~  
  
~ I have to get some of this stuff to Sakuma-san... ~  
  
I quickly scribble a note to Yuki, pick up the bottle, and head out the door.  
  
=-=SCENE CHANGE=-=  
  
"OMIKUMAGORO, NA NO DA!!!" Sakuma-san's hand shakes as he holds the cup of sacred milk. "Where did you get this stuff, Shuichi, na no ka?"  
  
"It came in the mail from some American girl and I translated the note. It says her name is Word Not Found, she likes my gravitational bond with Yuki Eiri, and she wants to share the coming from Earth nice behavior belonging to a small state in the corner of the United States of America so she mailed this a glass container of milk and some other stuff I couldn't figure out..."  
  
"^^;;; I don't think you translated it right, na no da... Do ya still have the note, Shuichi?"  
  
"Yup. ^_^ Here."  
  
Ryuichi looks at it for a couple seconds and says, "Just as Kumagoro thought! It's wrong, na no da!"  
  
~ That's not what it means?! ~  
  
~ Waaa... T_T I thought I'd actually gotten it this time. ~  
  
~ Yuki'd think I was an idiot if he found out about this! ~  
  
~ I guess he shouldn't find out, then. I mean, it's not like he found out about that Chinese food thing... ~  
  
"Here's what it really means, na no da..."  
  
~ Oh yea. Better not think about that right now. ^^;;;; ~  
  
He clears his throat and I listen intently.  
  
"'Dear Shuichi. My name is Riola...' Um... Her last name is smudged out, na no da." (A/N: They pronounce the English names with a Japanese accent. So it's like Romanji, 'cept the R's are L's and L's are R's.)  
  
"Thassokay, Sakuma-san."  
  
"Okies, na no da! Anyways... 'and I really love you and your relationship with Eiri Yuki' Aw.... How cute, na no da! ^_^"  
  
"^_^"  
  
"'I wanted to share the natural goodness of Maine with you so I sent this bottle of Okhulst milk. I would've sent myself, but it cost too much for shipping and the Fed-Ex guy wouldn't let me poke holes in the box. And if you like the milk, it's only sold in Maine, so you can't get any more. Unless, of course, you try to come to here and get some more, but you're not stupid enough to do that, right?' The rest doesn't matter, I think, na no da, but we need ta go to Maine!"  
  
"But didn't she say that was stupid?"  
  
"Oh, poor, innocent, naive, Shuichi! ^_^ That's just how girls are, na no da! They say the exact opposite of what they mean!"  
  
"Oh! ^_^ Okay!"  
  
~ Wow... Sakuma-sanÕs so smart! ~  
  
~ I donÕt know what IÕd do without him. ~  
  
ÒIÕm gonna go get some reservations on a plane, na no da! You should call Yuki Eiri-san to tell him youÕll be gone. Ne, na no ka?Ó  
  
ÒHai hai!Ó  
  
I hop up and grab my cell phone out of my bag while my God goes over to his own phone and dials the airport.  
  
~ Like I said... ~  
  
~ What would I do without Sakuma-san? ~  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
IÕm standing in the elevator of my apartment building.  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
:: WHY did I invite Tohma over for dinner?! ::  
  
I rub my head. ItÕs another goddamn headache, and I have my brother-in-law to thank for it.  
  
ÒDaijobu ka, Eiri-san?" he asks me, with that nauseating smile on his face.  
  
:: Damn, what a fruitcake. ::  
  
::My sister must be in denial or something about his sexuality...::  
  
:: Have they even had sex ONCE?! ::  
  
:: 0_0;;; ::  
  
:: AND WHY THE HELL DO I ALWAYS GET VISUALS ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING?! :: (A/N: That happens to me a lot. ^^;;;;;; Meh heh.)  
  
IÕm slamming my head repeatedly against the wall.  
  
ÒEIRI-SAN!!! ThatÕs not good for you!Ó  
  
:: He's a TOTAL fruitcake. ::  
  
I shudder as I feel his hand on my back. And if you think thatÕs a shudder of pleasure, your out of your fucking mind.  
  
ÒDo- DONÕT TOUCH ME, GODDAMMIT!!Ó  
  
:: Shit, that dudeÕs creeping me out... ::  
  
ÒYouÕre so hot when youÕre angry...Ó  
  
:: 0.0 ::  
  
"^^;;; Did I just say that out loud? Gomen, Eiri-san.Ó  
  
I am slowly backing away now... I am backing away from the insane fruitcake who just called me hot...  
  
:: DAMMIT!! IsnÕt doing it with your in-laws considered incestuous?! ::  
  
:: Oh yea! That shake-stick guy! :: (A/N: Shakespear. I actually used to call him that when I was little.)  
  
ÒSeeeeeguuuuuchiiiiiii... Do you remember that play called Hamlet?Ó  
  
ÒHm? Hamuret?Ó  
  
"-_-;;;; ItÕs about a guy named Hamlet whoÕs uncle kills his dad and marries HamletÕs mom. Throughout the entire play, Hamlet calls his mother and uncle incestuous pigs.Ó  
  
ÒOh. Damn...Ó  
  
:: 0_o ::  
  
"^^;;;; Oops... I did it again.Ó  
  
(A/N: "I watch as random Britney fanboys molest Seguchi." Mwee hee hee... ThatÕd be fun... But there wonÕt be too much pointless extreme randomness in this ficcie. *stabs Britney pix* *evil laugh*)  
  
:: ARGH!!! ::  
  
:: What the hell is wrong with this dude?! ::  
  
ÒEiri-san, weÕre at your floor.Ó  
  
ÒWha- Oh yea.Ó  
  
The elevator door mustÕve been open since the Hamlet comment, because thereÕs some old bat and her grand daughter staring at Tohma.  
  
ÒWhy I never...Ó  
  
As we get off and they get on, the females strike Seguchi repeatedly over the head with their purses.  
  
:: You go, grandma .::  
  
:: Meh heh... He was askinÕ for it. ::  
  
ÒLadies should NEVER say that sort of thing!" says the older one.  
  
:: HAH!!! ::  
  
:: ThatÕs got to go straight to his labito. ::  
  
ÒYea!" adds the teenager. "I mean, whatÕs next?! Yuki Eiri with Shindou Shuichi?! HAH!!!Ó  
  
:: ...... ::  
  
I sweatdrop majorly at that comment.  
  
Tohma gives the girl a look that clearly says, "I so know what youÕre talking about, but your grandmother is way outa line calling me, the famous Seguchi Tohma, a girl because I am most certainly male even though I canÕt guarantee that IÕm straight.Ó  
  
Well, maybe not "clearly," but you get what I mean.  
  
So, now that weÕve got the elevator thing over...  
  
:: Holy shit. ::  
  
:: I just remembered. ::  
  
:: I first kissed Shuichi in that elevator! ::  
  
:: 0_0;;; ::  
  
ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!  
  
Now, weÕre walking to my apartment.  
  
ÒHuh? WhatÕs this...Ó  
  
I bend over because I saw an envelope under the doormat.  
  
:: -_-;; Oh, I wonder who this could be from. ::  
  
My name is written on it, very sloppily, with the dots on the IÕs replaced with little pink hearts.  
  
ÒIs that from Shindou-san?Ó  
  
ÒHai.Ó  
  
I take out my keys and open the apartment door.  
  
Walking in, with Tohma close behind, I open up the note.  
  
Dear Yuki,  
  
I went over to Sakuma-sanÕs to share some milk with him. You should try some too. I left a glass on the table. ItÕs so very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good. I got it from a fan in the USA. ArenÕt they sweet? Hope when I get back that youÕll-  
  
*RIIIIIP!!!*  
  
I tear up the letter as I feel Seguchi looking over my shoulder.  
  
:: Dammit, Shuichi! ::  
  
:: I told you not to write about what we do! ::  
  
:: And he left under the goddammed doorstep, for crying out loud... ::  
  
:: WHO KNOWS WHO COULDÕVE READ THIS?! ::  
  
ÒWha- Seguchi?Ó  
  
ThereÕs a little red drizzle coming out of TohmaÕs nose.  
  
:: HeÕs got a nosebleed. Now why would Tohma get a... ::  
  
:: 0.0 ::  
  
:: EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!! ::  
  
"^^;;; Gomen, Eiri-san.Ó  
  
He wipes the blood off and his ears turn the color of ShuichiÕs hair.  
  
:: Pervert. -.-;;; ::  
  
ÒIÕll make dinner!" Seguchi says and waltzes into the kitchen.  
  
Almost literally waltzes.  
  
:: Fruitcake, fruitcake, fruitcake, fruitcake. ::  
  
The little red light is blinking on my phone.  
  
:: Oh joy. A message. ::  
  
:: I wonder what Shuichi did now... ::  
  
*Beep!*  
  
ÒYuki," says that sugar-coated voice.  
  
:: -_-;;; He did do something. ::  
  
ÒMe an' Sakuma-san are going to Maine. I didnÕt pick up my thing Ôcause we shouldnÕt be gone for long. ItÕs just that Oakhulst milk stuff was so good, and itÕs only available in the USA... We just HAD to go there and get some more!Ó  
  
:: Oh. My. Dear. Lord. ::  
  
ÒUm... I promise IÕll save you some! And just so you can play this when youÕre feeling lonely...Ó  
  
Random moaning sounds start.  
  
*Beep!*  
  
:: THAT IDIOT!!! ::  
  
:: But I really should keep that... ::  
  
ÒEh? Eiri-san! Did I hear Shindou-san say something about Ryuichi?" Tohma calls to me from the other room.  
  
ÒYea. He said they-Ó  
  
*CRASH!!!*  
  
ÒWHEREÕS RYUICHI?!Ó  
  
:: -_-;;; ::  
  
Tatsuha is standing in front of my broken window.  
  
:: This is the third time this month he's jumped through that thing... ::  
  
ÒSomeone said something about Ryuichi. I know! My Ryuichi senses are tingling!Ó  
  
ÒYouÕre going to have to pay for that, you know.Ó  
  
ÒTatsuha-san! ^_^ ItÕs good to see you!" Tohma, who just entered the living room in a pink apron, bows to my annoying little brother.  
  
ÒUh... Hi, Tohma. ^^;;; Sorry bout the window, bro. But did you say something about my honey Ryuichi?Ó  
  
ÒUh... Yea." I sweatdrop as I watch Tatsuha's shifty eyes. "He and ShuichiÕve gone to the states to get some milk...Ó  
  
Tohma and Tatsuha blink twice, and I sweatdrop again.  
  
ÒBut- But-"TatsuhaÕs eyes get all watery."RYUICHI HASNÕT BEEN TO THE US IN AGES!!! HEÕS FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!Ó  
  
:: ?! ::  
  
:: YOUÕRE WORRIED ABOUT RYUICHI?! ::  
  
:: ItÕs **MY** Shuichi whoÕs in danger, here! ::  
  
:: Woah... Did I just call him my Shuichi? ::  
  
:: Weird... ::  
  
"^^;;; ThereÕs no need to get hysterical." Seguchi waves his hand. "Nothing bad is going to happen to Ryuichi or Shindou-san.Ó  
  
I think about all the other things that Shuichi has gotten into.  
  
ÒTatsuha..." I raise my eyebrow at him.  
  
ÒUrm... LetÕs go, Eiri.Ó  
  
I grab another pack of cigarettes and we both head to the door.  
  
ÒWha- YouÕre not going to America alone!" Tohma takes off his apron and picks up his coat. "You need a guide! A translator!Ó  
  
ÒI remember English fine, Seguchi," I glare at him and light up a cig. "But since you are an incestuous homosexual stalker, I guess thereÕs no stopping you from coming.Ó  
  
"^^;;; Heh heh...Ó  
  
=-=End chappie one=-=  
  
Me: So, whatÕd ya think? I personally think this was one of my better stories. Now if I can just keep it going... ^^;;; IÕll need lots of reviews - at least three - and some good encouragement and ideas! ^.~ Hope ta see ya again soon! Check out my profile if yer bored! And if ya dunno what any of the Japanese phrases from this story, just ask me in a review. Ja ne, na no da! 


	2. L'eggo My Neko

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki, one-sided Tohma/Yuki Tatsuha/Ryuichi  
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.)  
  
Key: ~ Shuichi's thoughts ~ :: Yuki's thoughts ::  
  
In response to your reviews...  
  
Ragnarok Dragon - Yes, long live Tohma the chick. ^^;;;; I swear, you're turning into a rabid Tohma fangirl! Well, maybe not rabid, but... This is the only humor ficcie you've read in a while? Wow. I'm flattered. (I guess it helps knowing you personally, ne?) Tatsuha broke the window by jumping through it. Mwee hee hee... HOORAY FOR THE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD MONK!!! ^_^ You'll see the season & where in Maine they'll go, you impatient, angst-adicted, authoress who is better and older than me. And fer you and her, HEY ALL YOU PEOPLES READING THIS FICCIE THAT LIKE SHORT, KAWAII, SADISH, YU YU HAKUSHO STORIES!!! READ RAYNEDARK'S STORIES!!! Okies? And review too, if ya do. Back to you RD-chan. Thankies again for reading this, reviewing it, and adding to me your alert and Faves lists. You totally rock! (And arigato for letting me read Demon Diary. LONG LIVE ECLIPSE AND THE STUDENT/TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS!!! Dun forget to bring in the books on Monday.)  
  
Alex - Daijobu! Daijobu! You're not being too bold! ^_^ Dun worry. But, I actually plan on Yuki and the others to meet up with Shuichi and Ryuichi by the time they get to Maine. Mwee hee hee... That way, Shuichi and Ryuichi can get into even more trouble! But about getting lost... It won't be in the airport, but... You'll have to read and find out! Thankies for reviewing! I hope you enjoy chappie two!  
  
Meirv Rath - Um... I actually live in Maine, not all stories coming out of Maine are scary. Especially ones about milk. ^^;;;; Meh heh. If you only want to hear about Stephen King stories in Maine, then you shouldn't be reading this. My guess is that you've already deserted me anyways and only clicked because of the Maine thing. *Boo-hoo!* Oh well. (Sorry if IÕm wrong about that, but IÕm very paranoid.) Arigato for at least clicking this! It's nice to know I'm not invisible!  
  
Apocalypse of the Broom Closet - Thank you, me. I will keep up on this. And I agree, this is my best ficcie. (Isn't it creepy that I can review my own story? I even added myself to my author fave list, author alerts list, and fave stories list. Weird...)  
  
Sage Cedar - ^_^ I thought you'd like it! Mwee hee hee... Thankies for reading! And I plan on keeping this story going for a while, Sage-chan. (I'll just call you that, okay?) ^.~ Hope you still like it later. NA NO DA!!! Oh, and there'll be more Ryuichi & Shuichi in this chappie. Aint that great? ^^;;;; Hope your mom didn't ruin your date with Travis too badly on Friday. (Tell me about it, 'cause I dun trust Cacia.)  
  
---  
  
Chapter Two: L'eggo My Neko  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CANNOT HAVE THE KITTY!!!" squeals a random little boy.  
  
I stare.  
  
~ They don't allow animals on planes? ~  
  
~ Evil JFK International Airport. ~  
  
~ If it weren't for the milk, I'd never go to the US. ~  
  
~ I wonder how it's going with Sakuma-san... ~  
  
As if to answer my thought, I am glomped from behind and fall on my face.  
  
"I got us tickets to New York, na no da! ^_^ We can go to Maine from there, ne, na no ka? Eh? Oi, Shuichi!"  
  
~ OMINITTLEGRASPER!!! ~  
  
~ I'm going to New York again! ~  
  
~ ^^;;; Oh well. It's different this time. ~  
  
~ Yup, every thing's different... ~  
  
"I got some translation books, na no da, from that guy over there." Sakuma-san points to a creepy looking guy with a big jacket. "I forgot how to speak English. Funny, ne, na no ka?"  
  
"Hai. ^_^ Very funny."  
  
"^_^"  
  
~ Sakuma-san is so cool! ~  
  
"Oi. Come on, Shuichi. Let's get on the plane, na no da! ^_^"  
  
Sakuma-san drags me by the arm onto the plane.  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
:: Dammit. ::  
  
:: Of all the times to get a flat tire. ::  
  
I'm sitting in the waiting room of a piece-of-crap gas station.  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.... ::  
  
"Oi! Onichan!" Tatsuha pokes me. "Daijobu ka?"  
  
"Urusei! You're a pain in the ass."  
  
"ONICHAN!!! You sick, incestuous, son of a bitch."  
  
:: Oh god. ::  
  
:: He took it the wrong way... ::  
  
:: DAMMIT!!! ::  
  
:: I GOT ANOTHER VISUAL!!! ::  
  
I stood up.  
  
"O-onichan?"  
  
Yet again, I find myself smashing my head repeatedly on the wall.  
  
"Um... ^^;;; People are staring..."  
  
"Fuck people."  
  
"You know I don't do that with people I don't know."  
  
:: VISUAL!!! ::  
  
I pick up the chair I was previously sitting on and bring it down on my little brother's head.  
  
"Just shut up, dammit! You're almost as bad as Shuichi"  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
I sit on the plane to New York with Ryuichi, when suddenly...  
  
"ACHOO!!!"  
  
I wipe my nose.  
  
Sakuma-san giggles.  
  
"Wa... Nani?"  
  
"Achoo! Someone special's thinkin' 'bout you, na no da!" he says matter-of-factly.  
  
~ 'Someone special?' Could it be... ~  
  
I clasp my hands together.  
  
"OMINITTLEGRASPER, YUKI'S THINKING ABOUT ME!!!"  
  
"Ano... ^^;;; Shuichi, sit down, na no da. People are staring."  
  
"Fuck people. My darling Yuki must be worried about me!"  
  
"SHUICHI!!!" Ryuichi gets a disapproving look on his face and covers Kumagoro-kun's ears. "Watch your tongue, na no da! You know you shouldn't speak like that around Kumagoro!"  
  
"^^;;; Ah. Hai hai. Gomen, Kumagoro-kun."  
  
I sit down and pat Kumagoro on the head.  
  
Sakuma-san gets his normal smile back.  
  
I'm still getting a few stares, but who cares?  
  
~ YUKI WAS THINKING ABOUT ME!!! ~  
  
~ *SQUEE!!* ~  
  
~ That must mean he loves me! ~  
  
"He loves me, he loves me, my Yuki loves me." I chant under my breath. "He loves me, he loves me..."  
  
Ryuichi is too busy playing patty cake with Kumagoro to notice.  
  
"AIIIIII!!!!" squeals a young girl sitting behind me.  
  
~ Nani? ~  
  
"See?! See?!" she babbles to the girl next to her. "I told you, Shizu-chan! It's Shuichi and Ryuichi-sama! ^.^ *SQUEE!!* I told you it was them! But did you listen?! Nooo... You were all like, 'No way. They're just look-alikes.' But it's them! It's really them!"  
  
"EH?! NANI?!" Shizu-chan (or whatever her name is) says back to her friend. "How do you know it's Ryuichi and Shuichi? Ryuichi is SO much hotter than that!"  
  
~ ^^;;; I bet she's lucky he's still playing patty cake. ~  
  
"And besides that," Shizu continues. "Have you ever seen Shuichi muttering like a psycho freak? That's a girl, anyways."  
  
~ +^^;;; Reeeaaally... ~  
  
"Just ask 'em! I'm sure they'll say yes!"  
  
"Demo- Ichigo!"  
  
~ +-_- This is getting annoying... ~ (A/N: And it takes a lot to annoy lil Shui-chan. And FYI, the +s are vein pops. Mwee hee hee...)  
  
The Strawberry girl pokes me in the back.  
  
"Eh? Nani?"  
  
I turn around and pretend I didn't hear anything.  
  
"Um... Sumimasen!" Shizu-chan blushes. "Ano..."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
I blink and try to look innocent. Yuki says I'm good at that...  
  
~ And bad in bed. ~  
  
"Um... Are you Shuichi Shindou and is that Ryuichi Sakuma?" she blurts out. "Ah... Gomen nasai."  
  
"Daijobu, daijobu! ^^;;; Actually, no, but I get that a lot..."  
  
"Oh. Arigato gozaimashita. Moshiwake arimasen. Um... Well... Ja." she bows her head and I turn around.  
  
(A/N: I put in little worthless things like that and drag them out for a long time. It's one of my major flaws. Gomen. ^^;;;; *bows Sakano-to-Seguchi-style several times*)  
  
~ Close call... ~  
  
*Attention passengers. We will be taking off in five minutes. Please take your seats and enjoy the flight. Thank you!*  
  
~ Yay! ~  
  
~ ^_^ ~  
  
~ Maine, here I come! ~  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
:: IÕM ONLY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AWAY FROM THE AIRPORT AND STUCK BEHIND AN ANTI-HOMOSEXUAL PARADE!!! ::  
  
ÒOh, the pure irony...Ó  
  
I glare at the marching homophobes.  
  
IÕm driving less than 2 KM/H here! (A/N: ?)  
  
ÒEiri-san...Ó Tohma pokes me in the shoulder from the passenger seat. ÒDaijobu ka?Ó  
  
:: OF COURSE IÕM NOT OKAY, DAMMIT!!! ::  
  
ÒHmph. Jama Shinaide, Seguchi.Ó  
  
ÒAh. ^^;;;; Gomen, gomen...Ó  
  
ÒOnichan,Ó Tatsuha pokes me in the back. ::Damn, people poke me a lot... :: ÒCan I have a sandwich?Ó  
  
ÒNANI?!Ó  
  
I whip around and wrap my hands around his neck.  
  
ÒEIRI-SAN!!!Ó  
  
Tohma pulls me off of him and I start facing the road again.  
  
ÒGr...Ó  
  
ÒLET GO OF MY KITTY!!!Ó yells a little kid running on the sidewalk. ÒHEÕS MINE!!!! LÕEGGO A HIM!!!Ó  
  
:: Weird... ::  
  
---  
  
Me: Weeeee! I want everyone who reviewed last time to review this time. Okay? ^^;;; Well, my wants arenÕt my needs for makinÕ a chappie three... So, just review and tell me whatcha think and any ideas youÕve got. I hope itÕs still a good story... And sorry for extending that Shizu-chan & Ichigo scene. I get carried away in minor things a lot... Gomen. *does the Sakano bow again* Meh heh. I might put in the Bad Luck peoples later, if ya want me to. Do ya? *shrugs* I really dun care, but itÕd be fun to see K in his home nation, ne? And in New England, you can get guns almost anywhere. ItÕs REALLY creepy. ^^;;;; Well, ja ne, na no da! ^_^ 


	3. At JFK You Got It

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki, one-sided Tohma/Yuki Tatsuha/Ryuichi  
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. The lyrics in this chapter are from AnimeLyrics.Com. The song EVERYBODY SHAKE IT BUDDY doesn't belong to me. It belongs to... I don't remember. ^^;;  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.)  
  
Key: ~ Shuichi's thoughts ~ :: Yuki's thoughts ::  
  
In response to your reviews...  
  
kitty-nickle - ^^;;; Confusion is pretty normal when someone reads my stories... Nothing really important happened in that chappie anyways! A lot of my stuff is pointless. Arigato for reviewing!  
  
Ragnarok Dragon - I thought the patty cake was a good idea... And yes, I do enjoy irony. ^_^ MWEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!! Thankies for reviewing again! FYI, I'm gonna try and update about once a week. Maybe more, maybe less. (TELL ME WHEN YA GET DEMON DIARY 7!!! *huggles Erutis plushie* HOORAY FOR THE ECLIPSE/RAENEF TEACHER/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP!!! Meh heh.)  
  
Apocalypse of the Broom Closet - Gomen, me! *takes out a mirror & bows Sakano style* I'll be sure to put in a bit more randomness in this chappie and not have useless extended scenes. But didn't you like the part with the sandwich and kitty? I thought for sure I'd like that one... DAMN ME!!! I can't even tell what I like! *cries tears of bitterness*  
  
Sage Cedar - *huggles* You rock, Sage-chan! ^_^ But I don't think I'll have them come to my house... Because then I'd have to write a town name and crazy stalkers would come to my house and eat my orange Pixie Stix. Waaa... But there will be a couple OC's that you'll like. One always says "Omiparker" and pats her stomach, while the other worships the Cheese Beaver and looks almost exactly like Shuichi. Meh heh. (And thankies for letting me use your computer the other night. ^^;;; You can delete the Sims family I put in there if ya want... But you gotta download the Gravi skins! Even thought they're superly deformed... ^^;;;)  
  
---  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Yume Lullaby.  
  
The person who has a Gravitation AU...  
  
AND UPDATED IT!!!  
  
*gives Yume lots of pocky*  
  
You rock, Yume-sama!  
  
*bows Sakano style*  
  
Update Secret again soon!  
  
---  
  
Chapter Three: At JFK You Got It  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
*Nani mo mayowazuni ikite ikitaina Anata no ai wo hitorijime shite sa Naitai warattari honto ni tsukareru hibi ni Wasurechau yo kao mo deatta koro no mamesa mo*  
  
I'm listening to Everybody Shake It Body from the FAKE movie.  
  
It's one of my faves.  
  
~ Tatsuha looks so much like Dee... ~  
  
*Fui ni yobidasarete mo komaru no yo Itsumo himashiteru wakedemo naishi Mendo to inagara naishin DOKI DOKI shiteru Isogu isogu anata no moto Yappa zettai ureshinda mono*  
  
~ And they're both bi and into guys with light brown hair... ~  
  
*EVERYBODY! SHAKE IT BUDDY! DANCE DANCE DANCE! Chotto sunao ni natte mimasho Koyoi tsuki no shita DANCE DANCE DANCE! Zenbu yurushite odorimasho Ashita mo egao de I LOVE YOU!*  
  
~ OMINITTLEGRASPER!!! ~  
  
*Mayu ga umakukaketa sonna asa wa Nani ga tokubetsu na hi no yokan na no Angai tanjun konna JINKUSU shinjiteru no wa Watashi dake ja nai hazu desho Minna shigeki hoshinda mo*  
  
~ They must be... ~  
  
*EVERYBODY! SHAKE IT BUDDY! DANCE DANCE DANCE! Motto tsuyoku kamaete mimasho Koyoi hoshi no shita DANCE DANCE DANCE! Yagate kuru asa ga machi tooshii Ashita mo egao de I MISS YOU!*  
  
~ POCKY!!! ~  
  
*EVERYBODY! SHAKE IT BUDDY! DANCE DANCE DANCE! Aishiterutte wa aishiteru no Koyoi tsuki no shita DANCE DANCE DANCE! Zenbu wasurete odorimasho Ashita mo egao de I LOVE YOU!*  
  
~ Aiya! I'm so hungry! ~  
  
*EVERYBODY! SHAKE IT BUDDY! DANCE DANCE DANCE! Chotto sunao ni natte mimasho Koyoi tsuki no shita DANCE DANCE DANCE! Zenbu yurushite odorimasho Ashita mo egao de I LOVE YOU!*  
  
~ I wonder if they have strawberry pocky on this plane... ~  
  
*Ashita mo egao de I MISS YOU!*  
  
I take off my headphones and press stop on my CD player.  
  
Sakuma-san hunched over and chewing on Kumagoro's head.  
  
~ Must be asleep... ^^;;; ~  
  
"Uh... Sumimasen!"  
  
I tug on a flight attendant's sleeve.  
  
She looks at me.  
  
"May I help you, sir?"  
  
~ MEEP!!! Seguchi-sama smile! ~  
  
I shudder and she pulls out a blanket. Don't ask me where she got it. It just came out of thin air!  
  
"Ah, here you go sir. ^_^ You must be cold."  
  
"Um... ^^;; Thank you, but I was actually wondering if you have any pocky..."  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any pocky. ^_^ We do, however, have an American snack that is quite similar."  
  
"Eh? Na-"  
  
She pulls two long white sticks with orange stripes on them and hands them to me.  
  
"These are called Pixie Stix. ^_^ I do believe you will love them."  
  
"Oh. A-Arigato gozaimashita."  
  
~ Pixie Stix? ~  
  
~ What a strange name... ~  
  
~ I guess I'll save one for Sakuma-san. ~  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
We happen to be at the JFK International Airport, and the flight to New York has already taken off. Which means Shuichi is already on his way to the USA.  
  
"FUCK!!!"  
  
For the third time today, I find myself bashing my head repeatedly on a random hard surface.  
  
This time it happens to be my brother's head. One of the hardest things in the world.  
  
"ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI!!! QUIT IT, ONICHAN!!!  
  
"Urm... Eiri-san... ^^;;;" Tohma pokes me in the back.  
  
:: Why the hell does everyone find the need to poke me?! ::  
  
I let go of Tatsuha, who falls to the ground, quite distraught, and give Seguchi my coldest glare.  
  
"Shut the fuck up, you Goddamn fruitcake. It's your fucking fault that we missed Shuichi and Sakuma."  
  
"It was an accident, Eiri-san! I swear it!"  
  
"I SUPPOSE YOUR HAND JUST HAPPENED TO FIND ITSELF ON MY ASS?!"  
  
"Yup."  
  
:: This brings an American song to mind... ::  
  
:: What was it called again? ::  
  
:: Oh yea! ::  
  
:: I Hope You Die by the Bloodhound Gang! ::  
  
"I hope ya flip some guy the bird, he cuts you off, and you're forced to swerve..." I mutter.  
  
Seguchi blinks twice and sweatdrops.  
  
"Onichan," Tatsuha is up and kind of cross-eyed. :: Oops... o_o;;; :: "Shouldn't we just get tickets for the next flight?"  
  
"Hn. I guess."  
  
"Great! Now let's go get some grub while Tohma-chan gets 'em!"  
  
I shrug.  
  
"Fine. Seguchi, tickets."  
  
"Hai, Eiri-san."  
  
Seguchi walks up to the ticket place.  
  
"May I help you, ma'am?" asks the guy at the counter.  
  
"+^^;;;"  
  
:: Meh heh. Second time today. ::  
  
Tatsuha and I walk off, leaving Seguchi to deal with yet another person who had mistaken him for a female.  
  
=-=SCENE CHANGE=-=  
  
Haven't seen Tohma for fifteen minutes.  
  
:: Who gives a shit? ::  
  
:: Fruitcake deserved it. ::  
  
"I hope your Pinto begins to spin, takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran..." I mumble and drink the rest of my champagne. (A/N: That's for you, Sage-chan! ^.~)  
  
Tatsuha blinks and sweatdrops.  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
I feel strangely alive.  
  
I've never felt this hyper since that time I poured three pound of sugar into Yuki's coffee and drank it.  
  
Sakuma-san seems to be very active as well.  
  
"KUMAGOROSAYSTHATTHESEFAERIESICKTHINGIESAREREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYAWESOMENANODAANDTHATHEREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYWANTSSHUICHISAUTOGRAPHVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYMUCHNANODAANDTHATHETHINKSYUKIISAMEANIEBUMNANODAANDHECANTIMAGINEHOWTATSUHAKUNCOULDEVERBERELATEDTOHIMNANODAANDTHATHEDOESNTFINDGIRLSATRACTIVENANODAANDTHINKHEMIGHTHAVEACRUSHONOHNONANODARYUICHIALMOSTTOLDKUMAGOROSDEEPESTSECRECTIMSOSORRYNANODAIREALLYAMBADRYUICHINANODATHATSEVENWORSETHANSAYINGTHATNORIKOISACYBORGCAUSESHEPLAYSSOFASTANDGOOD!!!" (A/N: Ragnarok Dragon-chan... Sound familiar? ^^)  
  
~ MaybeeatingthirtyofthoseFaerieStickthingieswasntsuchagoodideabutitsokaybecausenothingbadcanhappencauseKumagorowillprotectmefromalltheevilwhitefluffydogsfromhellandthepurplefluffycowsandIhaveastrangeneedforsomethingcalledHillRaindrops! ~  
  
---  
  
Me: Check in next time to find out the result of Ryuichi & Shuichi's sugarhigh. If ya got any recommendations for what should happen on the plane or in any other part of the story, just tell me! All ideas are welcome! They won't necessarily be used, but all will be appreciated! And if you're from Maine, please tell me. The only other person from Maine who's reading this story that I know of is Sage-chan. ^_^ Ja ne, na no da! 


	4. Boy This Stuff Is Awesomeiluvitsoooomuch

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki, one-sided Tohma/Yuki Tatsuha/Ryuichi (And some special pairings in this chappie, too! Kumagoro/Tatsuha, Suguru/HiroshiÕs guitar, K/Ryuichi & Rapist Tohma/a big tomato ^^;;)   
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. From the last chapter, ÒI Hope You DieÓ belongs to the Bloodhound Gang. And also, the big tomato belongs to whoever made Demon Diary.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.) Oh, and in this chappie there will be a lack of spaces while we're Shuichi & Ryuichi. Sorry, but that's how it is when you're sugarhigh.  
  
Key: ~ Shuichi's thoughts ~ :: Yuki's thoughts ::  
  
In response to your reviews...  
  
Ragnarok Dragon - *blink blink* A fruitcake is a gay guy. In Yu Yu Hakusho Hiei calls Suzuka a fruitcake. A gal can only be a lezbo or a... Ask Jared Jared. I bet he could tell ya. ^^;;; Meh heh. I do not actually plan on making Ryuichi and Shuichi die, thank you very much. *sweatdrops* I do, however, plan on... MEEP!!! That'd count as a spoiler! Can't tell ya that yet. XP Mwee hee hee! I'll bet you love when Tatsuha, Tohma & Yuki are all on a plane together. Yup yup. It's gonna be very... Interesting. I'll leave it at that.  
  
Apocalypse of the Broom Closet - *death glares* You are sure a pain in the ass, for being me. +-_-;; I can't make this too random, or else it will lose it's flavor. I will put in more irony. Okay? How's about we go with that? About the cameo Thingy... I dun think I'll do it, but if it fits, I might squeeze Dee and Ryo or something. (BTW, last night was SOOOOOO creepy! XD I thought spirits had come back from the dead, or something! Maybe I shouldn't chant "Come, evil. Welcome, darkness" when I'm on a sugarhigh...)  
  
Sage Cedar - You feel touched? It better be in your heart or your head cuz... Just kidding! ^^;;; Just a joke! Kumagoro is not gay, actually. Ryuichi, as I said in school, was just expressing himself through his favorite pink rabbit plushie. *Squee!* There will be more Ryu & Shu-chan in this chappie, so I hope you enjoy it. It is dedicated to you, after all. Maybe I'll even put in s'more Bloodhound Gang, ne? ^.~  
  
---  
  
This chapter is dedicated to my friend, Sage Cedar.  
  
She loves Gravitation.  
  
She reads and reviews my stories.  
  
But most importantly of all...  
  
She read my entire profile.  
  
Thankies, Sage-Chan! *huggles & hands lots of pocky and Pixie Stix*  
  
---  
  
Chapter Four: Boy. This Stuff Is Awesomeiluvitsoooomuch  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
~ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ~  
  
Meandsakumasanarebouncingupandownitsamazingwhatthesefaeriestickthingiescandoforyouifeelsososososososososososososoveryveryveryveryveryveryhaaaaaaaappppppyyyyyyy!!!  
  
"Heymissesflightattendantpersonladycouldyougetmeandshuichismoreofthosefaeriestickthingiesprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypleasewithakumagoroontopnanoda?" asksRyuichi.  
  
Theflightattendantpersonladyblinkstwicesmilesandwalksawaysheseemsveryrudeishouldhaveatalkwithheremployerafterwegetoffwowisaidabigwordandmyheaddoesntevenhurtominittlegrasperthatslikesoooooooookewlandawesomeand-  
  
"EXCUSE ME BUT ME AND MY WIFE WOULD LIKE TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE AND WE CAN'T WITH THE RACKET YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE MAKING!!!" yellssomerandomoldguywhossittingwithanotherladywhoidontknowatall.  
  
~ Whatameaniepantshealmostmakesyukiseemnicebutthatsnotpossibleithinkheshouldgotonicenessschoolandlearnsomemannererererers. ~  
  
"Wellthatsyourproblemmister," Sakumasansaysinhisonstageultrakewladultvoicewithhisultrakewladultfaceon. "Ifyouwanttosleepwhydontyoujustgotosleepandleavemeandmyfriendalone?"  
  
Themeaniepantsdudeblinksacoupletimes.  
  
"Well I never!" mumblestheladypersonnexttohimwhosgotstabehiswife.  
  
Theybothshutupwhensakumasamaglaresatthemandwegobacktoumidunnoourlittlethingorwhateveryoudcallit.  
  
(A/N: Hard to keep up, ne? ^^;;; Gomen, but I have to do the lack of spacieness or else the sugarhighness will lose it's essence. But fear not! It's over for now.)  
  
=-=ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER=-=  
  
Sakuma-san is chewing on Kumagoro in his sleep again. He's totally conked.  
  
~ -.- I feel soooo tired... ~  
  
~ I think I'll... ~  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
IÕm on a plane.  
  
IÕm sitting next to the window.  
  
IÕm sitting next to the fruitcake.  
  
HeÕs asleep and muttering my name in his sleep.  
  
:: Dammit, this is creepy... ::  
  
:: Thank god we bought out all of the plane ::  
  
:: If anyone else was here... -.-;;;; :: (A/N: Tatsu-chan is in the back.)  
  
ÒOh yes...Ó he mumbles.  
  
:: Eh? ::  
  
ÒRight there... ThatÕs the spot...Ó  
  
:: 0_o ::  
  
ÒOoh Eiri...Ó  
  
ÒGET THE FUCK OUT OF LA LA LAND, SEGUCHI, AND WAKE THE HELL UP!!!Ó  
  
I hit him over the head repeatedly with his purse.  
  
ÒHm?Ó He blinks his eyes open. ÒOh. ^_^ Konnichiwa, Eiri-san!Ó  
  
Ò-_-;;; Have any good dreams?Ó  
  
ÒYup. Great one, as a matter of fact! But itÕs a secret!Ó  
  
:: No, it isnÕt, you fucked up, incestuous, fruitcake from hell. ::  
  
:: Why did I get stuck with you as a brother in law? ::  
  
:: Even Sakuma wouldÕve been better than this creep! ::  
  
ÒExcuse ^_^ me!Ó  
  
I twitch.  
  
A blonde and bimbo-looking flight attendant has walked up to us.  
  
:: She way too fucking happy... ::  
  
:: SheÕs like Seguchi, dammit! ::  
  
ÒMiss?Ó she asks the latter.  
  
:: Meh heh. ::  
  
:: It happened again. ::  
  
Ò+^_^;;; Hai?Ó Tohma replies politely. :: Quit with the act already, you bastard. ::  
  
ÒWould ^_^ you ^_^ and ^_^ your ^_^ husband ^_^ like ^_^ anything ^_^ to ^_^ eat ^_^ or ^_^ drink?Ó  
  
I twitch again and one of my veins start to pop out.  
  
Seguchi seems confused.  
  
He doesnÕt know whether he should be mad at her for mistaking him for a female, or flattered at being mistaken for my wife.  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
I slam my head into the chair in front of me repeatedly. This is about the fourth time today.  
  
ÒAre ^_^ you ^_^ okay ^_^ sir?Ó She still has that smile plastered on her face. ÒWould ^_^ you ^_^ like ^_^ an ^_^ ice ^_^ pack?Ó  
  
:: I. Will. Fucking. Murder. This. Bitch. ::  
  
ÒSumimasen, demo...Ó Seguchi has a face equally nauseating to that of the flight attendantÕs. ÒWatashi wa... Dansei.Ó  
  
ÒI ^_^ see! ^_^ You ^_^ two ^_^ are ^_^ lovers ^_^ then? ^_^ How ^_^ romantic!Ó  
  
:: ARGH!!!! ::  
  
She starts babbling with Seguchi about men and love and all that other feminine shit.  
  
:: Another American Bloodhound Gang comes to mind... ::  
  
:: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks. ::  
  
ÒYa see, I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become that trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair.Ó I mutter. ÒNo, it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear. I wish I was queer so I could get chicks. Chicks dig guys that are queer; guys that don't dig chicks that don't dig guys like me...Ó  
  
Tohma sweatdrops.  
  
The bimbo wonÕt shut up.  
  
=+=SHUICHI **dReAm** POV=+=  
  
~ La la la la la la la la... ~  
  
Kumagoro and Tatsuha are out on a date in the field of magicalicious field of paper flowers.  
  
~ Ooh! Look at the candy clouds of lullaby! ~  
  
~ The purple sky is flying over me... ~  
  
ÒHello, Shuichi!Ó calls Kumagoro. ÒHow was your wedding with Yuki?Ó  
  
ÒIt was wonderful, thankies, Kuma-kun! ^_^ We had strawberry pocky cake and Hill Raindrops with Faerie Stick thingies mixed in!Ó  
  
(A/N: For those of you who havenÕt figured out what those are, ÒHill RaindropsÓ are ÒMountain DewÓ {not mine} and ÒFaerie Sick ThingiesÓ are ÒPixie Stix.Ó {Also not belonging to me} Have you ever tried those things mixed? ItÕs awesome! I had them at the semiformal last year, and I- Ah, gomen. ^^;;; IÕm wasting your time. *Sakano bow*)  
  
ÒWelcome to the Yukisuki family, Shui-chan!Ó Tatsuha waves at me smiling.  
  
(A/N: Shuichi forgotted YukiÕs name is Uesugi; he remembers it as Yukisuki.)  
  
ÒArigato, Tatsuha-kun! Well, ja ne!Ó  
  
I jump in the air and fly on my purple fluffy cow to where the Bad Luck concert just finished.  
  
ÒHi, Fujisaki! Hi, Hiro!Ó I say as I walk in the door and gasp. ÒOMINITTLEGRASPER!!! HIROÕS GUITAR AND FUJISAKI ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR!!!Ó  
  
I quickly shut the door and try to block out the random moaning sounds.  
  
~ Waaa... ~  
  
~ If this werenÕt so real, IÕd think it was a nightmare! ~  
  
I sniffle.  
  
~ Maybe Sakuma-san can cheer me up... ~  
  
~ Where is he again? ~  
  
~ Oh yea! ~  
  
~ HeÕs in Oakhulstopia! ~  
  
I get onto my trusty steed, a beaver made of cheese.  
  
(I subconsciously wonder how the hell my flying purple fluffy cow turned into a swimming cheese beaver.)  
  
But, no matter.  
  
We swim over one million kilometers of the Specific Ocean and get to Oakulstopia.  
  
The Sakuma Stronghold is a castle made of ULTRA KAWAII INDESTRUCTIBLE RUBBER DUCKY FUR!!!!!  
  
I knock on the large door.  
  
It opens, revealing Sakuma-san and K-san doing BDSM. (A/N: Bondage Discipline Sado-Masochism. I think... ^^;;;)  
  
ÒOMINITTLEGRASPER!!! ITÕS THE END OF LIGHT SWITCHES AS WE KNOW THEM!!!Ó I sob and run into the next room. ÒOH NO!!! ITÕS EVIL RAPIST TOHMA!!!Ó  
  
Evil Rapist Tohma throws a large tomato onto a bed and-  
  
**bAcK tO rEaLiTy PoV**  
  
ÒNOOOOO!!!!!!Ó I scream. ÒWha-Ó  
  
I look around.  
  
ThereÕs no Tohma or tomato.  
  
Sakuma-san is still asleep.  
  
~ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! ~  
  
~ Waaa.... T_T ~  
  
~ Tohma is so evil! ~  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
ÒACHOO!!!Ó Seguchi sneezes.  
  
The flight attendant giggles furiously.  
  
ÒAchoo ^_^ someoneÕs ^_^ thinking ^_^ about ^_^ you!Ó  
  
ÒAh. ^^;;; Really...Ó  
  
:: I wonder who was thinking about him... ::  
  
ÒExcuse me, miss, but would you happen to have any tomatoes?Ó  
  
---  
  
Me: MWEE HEE HEE!!! This chapter was totally and utterly pointless. ^^;;; Well, it was actually meant to pass time on the plane... They should reach New York in the next chappie. I think. *shrugs* How can I be sure? That I Wish I Was Queer song belongs to the Bloodhound Gang. The paper flowers field, candy clouds of lullaby & purple sky belong to the song Imaginary which belongs to Evanescence. Who is not me. Review! Ja ne, na no da! 


	5. For Just Plane Fun, Old Tatsuha's The On

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki, one-sided Tohma/Yuki Tatsuha/Ryuichi & a couple more dream pairings. ^^;;  
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. The logo "Boy This Stuff Is Good" belongs to Chef Boyardee. "At BK You Got It" belongs to Burger King. "L'eggo My Eggo" belongs to the Eggo Waffles peoples. "I Can't Believe It's Not Real Butter Butter" belongs to the I Can't Believe It's Not Real Butter Butter dudes. Oh, and "For Dinner Time Fun, Old El Paso's The One" is property to El Paso Brand Tacos or whatever.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.)  
  
Key: ~ Shuichi's thoughts ~ :: Yuki's thoughts ::  
  
In response to your reviews...  
  
Ashura - Oakhurst milk is SO the bomb! ^^ It's okay that you're having writer's block. I've kinda got a bit of that myself right now, and at least I know now that you're workin' on it! Hope the block loosens its grip on you. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
a broken dream - YAY!!! YOU'RE FROM MAINE TOO!!! ^_^ That is so cool! And I'm glad you like this! Sorry chappie two was confusing, but hopefully there won't be anything too confusing from now on. Good luck on becoming an author! And thankies so much for reviewing! You totally rock!  
  
Ragnarok Dragon - ^_^ Meh heh. Tohma most certainly is the fruitcake from hell. But we still love him! (OMIUTENA!!! I've become a Tohma fangirl! 0_o;;;) Arigato for calling me a "friggen weirdo!" ^_^ Hooray for tomatoes and Demon Diary! And of course the Student/Teacher Raenef/Eclipse relationship. And that dream was supposed to be weird and random. (Plus I support Fujisaki/Hiroshi, so Hiro's guitar was the next best thing. Meh heh.) Oh, FYI, there's gonna be more Yuki POV in this chappie. And more Yuki POV means more Tohma. And more Tohma means more gender-fulfillment. ^_^ (It stinks that Demon Diary ended so soon. T_T But, hell, at least they don't have Raenef end up with what's-her-face. And as you said, they leave it open for certain people's extremely perverted imagination. ^^;;)  
  
Raynedark - Hooray for lack of patience and the avoiding of Geometry. (^^;; Hai, Monty no baka.) Liquid anthrax? That is SO creepy! XD Ha ha! I love creepiness. And thankies to your uber-long review, I have TWO PAGES of reviews! Yay! Domo arigato! Glad ya like Tatsu-chan's entrance. I succeeded in making yet another person laugh. (Yay again!) I take pride in my scenes where people get on a sugar-high, and I with I could've been on the Burlington trip. Yes, poor, poor, Mister Tomato. *huggles tomato to make it feel better* Ragnarok Dragon loves Tohma getting mistaken for a gal. ^^;;; *sweatdrops at the thought of her becoming a rabid fangirl* I pity Yuki, too. (And so does he, no doubt.) Mwee hee hee... My knowledge of Japanese is actually quite limited compared to many other authoresses I know. *bows down to Almighty authoresses of romanji-filled fics* Thankies for reviewing! After you finish reading Gravitation, you could read Utena or FAKE if ya like. I bet you'd like 'em both. (Did you know that THREE PEOPLE said I was scarier than Chelsea during Math Intensive? *sweatdrops* It's a good thing. In a Martha Stewart way, that is.) Thankies again for giving me a long review, so in return you got a long response!  
  
Apocalypse of the Broom Closet - I kinda regret the dream thing... ^^;;; It was more of a nightmare, really, and it was just there 'cause I wanted to have the thingy be longer than it would have been without it. Yes, hopefully DYLAN *cough darkmaster666 cough* will read this too. And like it.  
  
Sage Cedar - I'm glad you're happy about having that chappie dedicated to you. You deserved it, after going through all the trouble of becoming a rabid Gravitation fangirl. ^_^ I sure hope you don't beat me with a breadstick! Especially not one filled with knives, because then I'd have to sue you for the rights. *giggles* Just kidding. I think.  
  
---  
  
This chapter is dedicated to another one of my few friends, Darkmaster666.  
  
RD-Chan and me got him into FF.Net  
  
I - personally - got him hooked on Gravitation.  
  
And he got totally emotional about when Yuki left Yuki in book four.  
  
And he dyed his hair pink, so me and some friends now call him Shuichi just to annoy him.  
  
THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING A TOTAL ROMANTIPHOBIC HETEROSEXUAL AND LIGHTING UP MY DAY WITH YOUR UBER SAPPINESS AND PINK HAIR!!!  
  
*slaps DM666 on the back repeated & hands him Mountain Dew filled with Pixie Stix sugar*  
  
^_^ Mwee hee hee...  
  
---  
  
Chapter Five: For Just Plane Fun, Old Tatsuha's The One  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
Seguchi somehow seems to be having an orgasm with his Bloody Mary.  
  
I twitch as he closes his eyes and says "ooh" softly.  
  
:: This is seriously disturbing. ::  
  
:: What's with his sudden tomato fetish?! ::  
  
"ONICHAN!!!" Tatsuha comes in from the back of the plane. "I was bored. Can I sit with you and Tohma?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
:: I need nicotine... ::  
  
I reach in my pocket for a cigarette.  
  
Tatsuha pokes me in the back :: +-_-;; Seems to be all the rage nowadays.:: and points to behind us.  
  
"Hm?" I turn around in my seat and immediately feel like plotting the destruction of the universe.  
  
:: "NO SMOKING ALOUD?!" ::  
  
:: WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?! ::  
  
Surprisingly enough, I'm not going to bash my head on a random hard object.  
  
Of course not.  
  
Self mutilation is not the answer.  
  
Brother mutilation is.  
  
"ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI ITAI!!! ONICHAAAAAAAN!!!"  
  
Seguchi is too busy jacking off with his drink to notice. (A/N: I'm so disturbing! ^_^)  
  
=+=SHUICHI POV=+=  
  
I'm huddled up into a ball and everyone else on the plane is fast asleep.  
  
~ Dun wanna go to sleep again! T_T That was so scary! ~  
  
I shiver.  
  
~ That poor tomato... ~  
  
~ That poor guitar... ~  
  
~ I wonder how Sakuma-san and K-san got into that position. I thought that was impossible. ~  
  
~ NO!!! BAD!!! I don't wanna think about that right now. ~  
  
~ But isn't SM sado-masochism? And doesn't Yuki call me a masochist? And isn't he a sadist? ~  
  
~ WARUI WARUI WARUI WARUI WARUI WARUI!!! ~  
  
I mentally hit myself repeatedly over the head with breadsticks.  
  
~ Ugh... @_@ I think I'm in a sugar hangover. ~  
  
~ I'm gonna be sick! ~  
  
I get up and wobble towards the bathroom.  
  
~ Maybe this whole "get the milk" thing wasn't such a good thing... ~  
  
=+=YUKI POV=+=  
  
"Onichan, can we play a game?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pretty please?"  
  
"No.  
  
"Pretty pretty please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pretty pretty please with a strawberry on top?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pretty pretty pretty please with a strawberry and that outfit that Noriko dared Ryuichi to wear for the New Year's that you can put on Shuichi?"  
  
I almost say no, but images of Shuichi in that thing flash through my head and I reconsider the matter. (A/N: I'll let your imagination decide what it should look like. ^.~)  
  
"Hm... Throw in some shortcake, and you got yourself a deal."  
  
"Thanks, onichan! Now, I spy with my little eye something that's a close-to-incestuous, homosexual, perverted stalker that looks like he's jacking off with his Bloody Mary."  
  
"Hey!" Tohma gives Tatsuha an icy glare. "I am NOT jacking off with my drink?"  
  
"Oh yea?" My lil bro grins and pours Seguchi's Bloody Mary on his head.  
  
"NOOO!!! IT'S GONE!!! ALL GONE!!! MY BLOODY MARY!!! MY TOMATO!!!"  
  
:: I had a Bloody Mary once... ::  
  
:: I had a Bloody Kary once, too. ::  
  
:: Now where the hell did THAT come from? ::  
  
I shrug off the strange line that had just played through my head.  
  
Sleep is creeping upon me.  
  
I feel my eyelids droop and I fall into a deep slumber.  
  
=-=SHUICHI POV=-=  
  
~ Thank Nittle Grasper that sugar-hangover went away. ^_^ ~  
  
~ Well, mostly anyways. ~  
  
~ Still got one helluva headache... ~  
  
*Please buckle you seat belts and put your seats in an upright position. We are about to reach our destination.*  
  
"YAY!!! Kumagoro, did you hear that, na no ka?" Sakuma-sama grins excitedly at his little pink friend. ~ Not me, of course. Waaa... ~ "We're gonna be in New York soon, na no da! HOORAY!!!"  
  
ÒSakuma-san, do you weÕll be able to understand the Americans?Ó  
  
ÒOf course, na no da! I mean, we do have these special translation books! Ne, na no ka? ^_^Ó  
  
ÒHai! ^_^Ó  
  
=-=YUKI **dReAm** POV=-=  
  
I sit on my thrown.  
  
I am Pharaoh Eiri.  
  
All of Egypt is at my command!  
  
MWA HA HA HA!!!  
  
"Eiri-sama!" My head priest, Tohma, runs in and bows down to me. "Th-there was a mistake when they brought your soon to be bride over here."  
  
I raise an eyebrow.  
  
"'Mistake...?' As in..."  
  
"It's a boy, Eiri-sama. His name is Shindou Shuichi."  
  
"And he looks like my honey, Ryuichi!"  
  
I look up and a laptop falls right on my nose.  
  
"DAMMIT, YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!" I yell at my little brother, who is currently floating in the air above my head. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT?!"  
  
"Aw... Don't be like that, onichan!" He grins at me. "I was just having a wittle fun with big bwother. Is that so bad?"  
  
My eye twitches.  
  
:: Why you little- ::  
  
He suddenly finds that a DVD player has put a dent in his face.  
  
Wonder how that happened.  
  
Snickering, I get off my sofa and follow my exboyfriend, Tohma.  
  
I can't believe they sent a GUY instead of a GIRL for me to screw around with.  
  
Fucking low quality hore-house...  
  
When we reach our destination, officer Seguchi introduces me to my ultracool, uber-hot, so attractive, yet male cell-mate. (A/N: Isn't that just how it is in dreams? It suddenly changes, and yet to you it seems it was always that way. @_@ It's confuzzling.)  
  
"This is Shindou. Shindou Shuichi. Hope ya get along with 'im, hottie." Tohma laughs, eyes my ass, and leaves.  
  
"I'm Eiri Uesugi. Nice ta meet ya." I say to Shuichi, trying to rid myself of the perverted images that flash before my eyes of things I could do with him.  
  
"Likewise."  
  
There's a long, awkward silence.  
  
"So... What're you in for?" he asks shyly.  
  
"Wore my slippers after ten PM. You?"  
  
"Walked around with an ice-cream cone in my pocket on Sunday and talked in an eleva- What's that noise?"  
  
I open the door to the shed.  
  
And there, in broad daylight, is Ryuichi Sakuma, Shuichi's idol, doin' it with an oversized tomato.  
  
"MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!" Shuichi runs for cover in the cave.  
  
I look in disgust at the horrendous cross-spieces (if you could call it that) sight that was in front of me, and follow my lawyer into the dog-kennel.  
  
"MY EYES!!! THEY REEEEEAAAAALLY BURN NOW!!!" Shuichi cries, and runs for cover in my shirt.  
  
I look to see what had bothered him so.  
  
:: Oh, dear Lord. ::  
  
:: Don't let it be true! ::  
  
K's gun and non other than Tohma Seguchi were-  
  
**bAcK tO rEaLiTy PoV**  
  
I sit bolt upright in my seat.  
  
"Eh? Nani?" Tohma takes his hands off of their position of wrapped around my little brother's neck and looks at me. "Daijobu ka, Eiri-san?"  
  
Images of my dream flash before my eyes.  
  
:: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... ::  
  
I guess self mutilation is the answer, because I find myself hitting my head repeatedly on the chair in front of me.  
  
=-=SHUICHI POV=-=  
  
Sakuma-san and I step on the plane and he stops.  
  
"Eh? Daijobu ka, Sakuma-san?" I ask and blink twice.  
  
"I want some tomatoes, na no da! Let's get some pizza! Ne, Kuramagoro-kun, na no da?"  
  
---  
  
Me: I apologize for updating so late, but with finding out the person you thought you like is really just your friend, having to clean up the house so the head of my school *cough cough monty cough cough* can come over, you just don't have the time. @_@ It's like ten at night or something. All reviews are appreciated. Ja fer now! *waves* 


	6. Special Extra! No Retards Allowed

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)  
  
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki  
  
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.  
  
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. I don't own Spongebob either. That belongs to Nickelodeon. Bakura and Yugi are property of Kazuki Takahashi.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.) A lot of OOC in this chappie.  
  
Special notes: One thang I'd like to say is that I'm so happy that Gravitation is C'mon' to the US market on June 29th. (The group of Gravi's at my school just found out about it on the 20th) I'm even more happy that Jim Ward (Chet Ubetcha from the Fairly Odd Parents) is voicing Yuki-sama. Now, I just hope he does a good jog at it... This chapter is a parody on the Spongebob episode called "No Weenies Allowed." That of course makes it AU. Alrighty then.  
  
In response to your reviews...  
  
Darklore Wings - I scared you yet again?! Oh man, this is so fun. I love your singing voice. Will you sing for me again? Maybe I'll make you... After all, you did steal my personal phrase. MWEE HEE HEE!!! Just kidding. I think... Gonna get Gravi 6 and the remixes in the mail. WOOT!! Oh, and I forgot.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.  
Are we gonna do the PortAnimeCon or not? I really need to know.  
Oh, and sorry in advance for the sexual content in this chappie, but you've probably heard worse from me.  
  
Raynedark - YAY DUMBLAWS.COM!!! And don't be sorry about the long review. I LOVE LONG REVIEWS!!! And it wasn't any of the things you listed. Thankies for the compliment! I take pride in my dreams. They're the only things I do well. Waaa... Monty did come to my house, but I hid in my room the whole time and read FAKE, so it wasn't really that bad at all! 'Cept for the fact I couldn't go online. ;; That caucus was interesting, ne? We have a scary dictat- I MEAN, head mistress. On, and I have a story idea for you. Tohma (or Yuki) tries to commit suicide for one reason or another. So they take an OD of painkillers and antidepressants. And cough syrup just Ôcuz they like it. Doesn't that sound like a YUKI thing to do? Isn't that JUST the sort of thing YUKI would do? Or TOHMA? Not that I'm implying that anything... Just thought you should try something like that.  
  
Ryukio7890 - RYU-CHAN!!! I'm so glad you finally started to read this! It's a dream come true! The tomato is from Demon Diary, and I thought I'd put it in there for a couple of my pals. Yea, you should read their stuff. There the peeps in the review responses above. Check 'em out for me, would ya? Ask Inu-chan and our fave OLDER perv monk "are you?" (It's my usual response to when someone says "hi" to me. I crack myself up...) Glad you like it so far! Next chappie's for you! I've got this one reserved...  
  
Happy Utena-Loving - Hn. I'm not gonna review myself anymore... I hate me. Can I block my own reviews? Stupid me is stalking me... GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID PERSON!!! I DUN LIKE YOU!!! GO AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Speller-Sama - Ohayo! Great ta hear from ya through FF.Net. You finally got an account. YAY!!! Hey, could I use your Serendipity idea for another extra later? Pwetty pwease?  
  
Angrybee - OMIGODTHANKYOUSOMUCHITMEANSSOMUCHTOMEWHENANAUTHORIREALLYADMIREREVIEWSMEILOVEYOURFICSYOURULEANDIMACTINGLIKESHUICHILIFEJUSTGETSBETTEREVERYDAY!!!! Meh heh. Gomen, gomen, but your stories are the funniest ones I've ever read. I seriously fell on the floor laughing while I was reading them. Your compliments have inspired me to put up this extra and then write some more of the main plot.  
  
---  
  
This chapter is dedicated to two people 'cause I couldn't wait to dedicate it to them in separate chapters.  
  
It's my two otaku pals, Darklore Wings and Raynedark.  
  
And both of them are psycho!  
  
I mean, _psychic._  
  
Well, now that I think about it, they can kinda be both...  
  
Ohayo, K-san and Hiro!  
  
Hope y'all get to see Gravi in English and that we call all go the the PortAnimeCon!  
  
**hands you both Yu Yu Hakusho plushies & a Kuwabara voodoo doll**  
  
---  
  
Chapter Six: Special Extra! No Retards Allowed (or) Shuichi Aint No Me- Mince- Mom- Dumb Boy  
  
---  
  
Today is a very special day for Shuichi Shindou.  
  
Why, do you ask?  
  
Because today is the day that he and his best friend Hiroshi Nakano go out for a night on the town.  
  
And here they are in the middle of the city in the middle of the night.  
  
"Wow! Hiro! It's so- So-"  
  
"Big?" Hiroshi grins at his younger friend. "You should really get out more."  
  
"Was that an insult?! W A A A A A A A!!!!"  
  
Shuichi starts to cry.  
  
Hiro sweatdrops.  
  
"Ah, warui, Shuichi. Gomen."  
  
"Hmph!" Shuichi pouts.  
  
"Let's just go to a club or something, ne, Shu-chan?"  
  
"Okay, Hiro! Howsabout... That one!"  
  
Shuichi points to a very exclusive looking club with a sign that says, "SEGUCHI'S HOUSE OF HELL."  
  
"Sure!"  
  
The two friends walk up the the door keeper guy.  
  
He has blond hair and evil looking yellow eyes.  
  
"Hello, I'm going to need some ID." he says to Hiro with a glare that could scare Fujisaki.   
  
"Uh, yea." Hiro takes out his wallet and shows the guy his license. "See?"  
  
"Fine, you can go in." The door keeper guy opens the door.  
  
"See you inside, Shuichi!"  
  
Hiro disappears into the building and the door closes behind him.  
  
"Hi! I wanna go in, please!" Shuichi says with a smile.  
  
The door keeper guy twitches.  
  
"Riiiight. ID, kid."  
  
"Here ya-" Shuichi reaches into his pocket, but finds nothing but a serious lack of wallet. "NANI?! WHERE'D IT GO?! MISTER WALLET, WHERE ARE _Y O O O O U_?!"  
  
The door keeper guy starts twitching again and sweatdrops as Shuichi crawls around on the ground calling for "Silly Ol' Mister Wallet."  
  
Shu-chan gives up after a couple minutes.  
  
"Uh... I can't find it, but my friend Hiro could go in, so I can too, right?"  
  
"Kid, that's the fucking oldest trick in the book. I'd be surprised if you could even legally watch a PG13 movie by yourself. Get the hell out of here. Why not go over there?"  
  
Mister Meanie Pants points across the street.  
  
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR MENTALLY CHALLENGED BOYS?!" Shuichi squeals.  
  
"Actual, I was pointing the place next to it."  
  
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR THE SEVERALLY MENTALLY IMPAIRED _GIRLS_?! WHAT THE HELL?!"  
  
"Beat it, kiddo. I don't have time for you."  
  
Mister Meanie Pants gives him a glare that even K-san couldn't handle without crying.  
  
==A couple minutes later==  
  
Shuichi gnaws on his Strawberry Pocky at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.  
  
"So, Yugi, how's your collection going so far?" an albino kid with long hair asks his star-headed friend, who's name was apparently Yugi.  
  
"Well, Bakura, I actually just got some new cards that'll give my Dark Magician a major boost in power!"  
  
"Excuse me, wittwe mentawy chawenged boy with vewy cute pink haiw," says a waitress. "Would you wike some mowe yummy pocky?"  
  
"I AM NOT A MENTAWY CHAWENGED BOY!!!" Shuichi yells. "Not like YOU TWO talking about some STUPID card game!"  
  
"STUPID CARD GAME?!"  
  
Bakura and Yugi both get really scary eyes and their hair changes.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
Shuichi runs out the door.  
  
==Just a matter of seconds later==  
  
"C'MON!!! WOULD YOU _P L E A S E_ LEMME IN?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!"  
  
Shuichi was sobbing and clawing at Mister Meanie Pants' feet.  
  
"No."  
  
"PLEASE?!"  
  
"No."  
  
"PLEASE?!"  
  
"NO!!! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU!!!"  
  
Shuichi looks up at him. Biting his lip and putting on his uberly cute puppy dog eyes, he lets out a small, "Pwetty pwetty pwease? I swear I'm old enough! I really am matu-"  
  
"Hey, Eiri," says a voice behind him.  
  
"MEEP!!!"  
  
Shuichi latches the glaring and twitching man's torso.  
  
"Hey, Tatsuha."  
  
"Who is this, your new fuck toy or something, aniki?" Tatsuha gives Shuichi a look over. "It's hard enough, seeing we have the same taste in woman and all, but if we're gonna start sharin' the fellers..."  
  
"He's. Not. My. Fuck. Toy. You pain in the ass."  
  
"Suuure, aniki. Whatever. See ya later, Eiri!"  
  
Tatsuha waves and walks in the building.  
  
"So, your name's Eiri, huh?" Shuichi asks, still clinging to him.  
  
"Yea, but if you're going to fucking call me anything, it's Yuki."  
  
"Yuki? Suits you well enough...  
  
"Enough, kid. Go back to your house of mini-morons.  
  
==Back at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys==  
  
"Stupid Yuki... Stupid wallet... Stupid Little Ties Day Share Center For... Whatever the hell the name is." Shuichi mutters.  
  
Bakura and Yugi are back to normal and sitting on either side of him.  
  
"Aw... Don't feel bad! You're not alone!" Yugi says cheerfully. "We can keep you company, Shu-chan!  
  
"Yup!" Bakura nods.  
  
"BUT I'M NOT A ME- A mem- A mint- A stupid kid.  
  
Shuichi slams his head down on the counter in front of him.  
  
"Hm... Maybe what you need is some cool duds! pipes up Yugi. "Y'know, like leather or something!  
  
"That's a good idea!" Shuichi sits up. "Thanks, dork!  
  
He runs out the door, laughing maniacally.  
  
"But, Yugi, look at you!" Bakura points to Yugi's outfit of leather, chains, and lots of BDSM-looking stuff.  
  
"Oh yea! I forgot about that. If ya don't have the attitude to go with the looks, you get ravished on the spot!  
  
"...  
  
"...Oops?  
  
==About half an hour later==  
  
Yuki stands at his post in front of Seguchi's House Of Hell.  
  
A certain pink haired nuisance is all that lingers on his mind.  
  
The reason is one that not even HE knows, that is until...  
  
"Oi! Mister Door Holder Dude!  
  
"Eh?  
  
Yuki blinks twice, contemplating if he's finally gone over the deep end.  
  
Standing before him, in all his seductively cute glory, was Shuichi Shindou: donning an outfit that revealed most of his skin and kept the rest quite tightly covered. And when I say tight, I mean so tight you could almost see THE THINGS they covered. (A/N: Yummy!)  
  
A look of lust plays across Yuki's face as he admires all of Shuichi's fine curves. But that doesn't take him for than two seconds, so he (tries to) replace all longing for the younger man with disgust.  
  
"Er... I'm Shu- Shuka Shin- Shimbo. Yea, Shuka Shimbo.  
  
Yuki attempts to roll his eyes, but they remain glued to the pink-haired boy's body.  
  
"Riiiight... And I'm Amy Yarborough, age 69.  
  
"Nani?" Shuichi blinks. "Emi Yalabolou? I thought your name was Eiri Yuki and you were like, twenty something!  
  
"It is and I am, you moron. And yours is Shuichi Shindou and you're not allowed into here.  
  
"Wha- HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?!" Shuichi's inexorable crying starts up again. "YUGI SAID I COULD GET IN IF I WORE THIS STUFF!! WHAT AM I GONNA _D O O O O_?! W A A A!!! LET ME IN, YUKI-SAN!! _O N E G A I_!!!  
  
"U-URUSEI!!!  
  
Yuki tries to dislodge the sobbing monkey clinging to his leg, but his attempts are in vain. Not that he really minds, quite the contrary actually, but that would ruin his image of being a one hundred percent straight, cold-hearted bastard.  
  
_Y U K I - S A N_!!  
  
"THIS IS JUST PROVING THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AN UNDERAGED, MORONIC BRAT WHO DRESSES LIKE A WHORE!!!  
  
Many men - and a few women - on the street look around hopefully at the last word Yuki said.  
  
Yuki sweatdrops.  
  
Shuichi continues crying. As I said, his tears are inexorable. Unless, of course, there's p-  
  
"Yuki-san! You didn't tell me you had pocky!" Shuichi squeals and grabs a small package out of Yuki's coat pocket.  
  
"I don't..." The doorman watches in horror as Shuichi takes a cigarette and pops it into his mouth. "WHA-?! YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID-  
  
"NeneYukisan," Shuichi's eyes get really big. "IFEELVERYHYPERDOYOUYUKISANEHEHDOYATHISISGREATPOCKYWHEREDIDYOUGETITININDIAYOUCANGETGREATCURRYININDIATHEYMADEITYOUKNOWHAVEYOUEVERYHEARDOFSHOUJOKAKUMEIUTENAUTENALOOKSLIKEMEISNTTHATFUNNYHARUKOFROMSAILORMOONLOOKSLIKEYOUANDTHOSETWOAREBOTHLESBIANSTHATSREALLYFUNNYHAHAMAYBEWESHOULDBETOGETHERNEYUKISAN?!?!  
  
Yuki blinks.  
  
"You... Aren't... Dead?  
  
"OFCOURSEIMNOTSILLYTEEHEEYOURECUTEWHENYOURWORRIEDYUKISANACTUALLYYOUREALWAYSCUTEOMINITTLEGRASPERDIDIJUSTSAYTHATOUTLOUDOOPSIMEANTTOSAYYOUREHOTNONOBADSHUICHIBADYOUMEANHESUHIDUNNOBUTTHATSBESIDESTHEPOINTIHAVESOOOOMUCHENERGY!!  
  
Yuki remembers the time a girl told him about how her rabbits ate some cigarettes once, and they got really hyper for a couple hours. (A/N: Actual story from my exclassmate, Jenna.)  
  
"Figures he'd have the same reaction as a rabbit..." Yuki mutters and rolls his eyes.  
  
The few people walking around at this time of night watch as Shuichi bounces back into Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.  
  
==Back at- Aw, fuck. You know the drill. It's about an hour later.==  
  
"Jeez, Shuichi. How much sugar did he give you?" Ryou sweatdrops and looks at the seemingly wilted Shuichi.  
  
"None, but UGH!! That pocky tasted _BAAAAD_!!! What the fuck flavor was THAT?! I had, like, an eelurgick reeckshon to it...  
  
"Well, at least you've got friends here, right? ÔCause friendship is more important than ANYTHING!!" Yugi starts to sing a song. "Tuuuurn arooound and we'll be theeeere! In your heart...  
  
"FOREEEEEEVERRRR!!!" Ryou joins in and they both merrily sing away.  
  
"MY friends don't hang around HERE!!" Shuichi says with a glare.  
  
"That's right na no da! You tell Ôem, Shuichi!" Ryuichi says happily. "Kumagoro says rock on na no da!  
  
"Tha- Ryuichi?! What're YOU doing HERE?!?  
  
"Oh! Kumagoro and I always come here on Shiny-Shiny Coloring Saturday na no da! This place has the pico-picoest crayons of all!  
  
"Actually," Yugi stops singing and turns to Ryuichi. "Now they have markers.  
  
"Aw... Kumagoro's saaaaad na no da.  
  
"I think they use crayons on Funny-Fun-Fun Special Drawing Wednesdays.  
  
"Kumagoro's happy again na no da! Ne, Kumagoro-kun?  
  
=:3  
  
"Yup! Abosupositivilutely na no da!  
  
"Oi, Ryuichi.  
  
"Doshio, Shuichi na no ka?  
  
"Do you know how I could get into that club?  
  
"Hm... Let's ask Kumagoro na no da! What should Shuichi do to get into his club, Kumagoro-kun?  
  
=:3  
  
"Great idea na no da! Kumagoro says you should seduce someone and prove that you're of age with sexiness na no da!  
  
"That might work! But who could I possibly seduce...  
  
"Why not just PRETEND to seduce someone?" offers Ryou.  
  
"Me me pick me na no da!" Ryuichi waves his hand around frantically.  
  
"Alright! Let's make a plan...  
  
==Later, at Seguchi's Hell...==  
  
"Hey! Yuki-san!  
  
"Got outa your leather, I see." Yuki glares at Shuichi, subconsciously disappointed about his last statement. "You gonna ask me if you can get in?  
  
"Woah. How'd you know? Are you psycho?  
  
"That's psychIC, baka. And the answer remains no.  
  
"Damn. That leaves me with a lot of sexual frustration. Guess I'll have to fuck around with someone. Like... That guy!  
  
Shuichi saunters over to Ryuichi.  
  
Yuki watches with hidden interest.  
  
Maybe he WAS attracted to the kinky kid with pink hair...  
  
"Hey there, hotstuff. How're you doing?  
  
"I'm fine boy are you looking good tonight wanna go to bed with me na no da." Ryuichi winks and gives Shuichi a thumbs up.  
  
Yuki sees through the facade immediately, but does nothing.  
  
It's not gonna go anywhere.  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me." Shuichi smirks seductively. "Why don't you and me take off to a motel? You and your rabbit friend look like you could HELP me quite a bit. C'mon and make me yours. I challenge you.  
  
Ryuichi's face transforms from that of his usual happy-go-lucky-chibi self to that of his extremely-mature-hot-sexy-face.  
  
"Why not do it right here and now, sexy?  
  
Ryuichi grins and grabs Shuichi.  
  
"Na- Nani... EH?! RYUICHI?! WHAT THE FU- Uuh- Ooh... Ry-Ryuichi...  
  
Was that supposed to happen...?  
  
Yuki watches as his pink-haired hassle starts to get a hand job and notices a certain part of himself growing hard too.  
  
No doubt, he totally wanted that kid.  
  
"RyuUUUuichiIIIII..." Shuichi tries to get out of his friends skilled hands, but is drained of too much energy. "You. Were. SupoOOosed. To. PreteeEEEeeend. ToOOo. Let. MeEEEe. Se- Se- Seduce yoooOOoouuu... Ooh...  
  
"Ah! Gomen, Shuichi, na no da!" Ryuichi immediately drops Shuichi. "BAD RYUICHI BAD RYUICHI NA NO DA!!! BAAAAAAAD!!! RYUICHI MUST BE PUNISHED NA NO DA!!!  
  
Ryuichi runs off, leaving Shuichi on the ground in front of Yuki, panting and struggling with dissatisfaction in certain areas of his life.  
  
"A-Am I old enough?" Shuichi asks hopefully.  
  
"No.  
  
"Dammit. All that work for nothing...  
  
"But I could help you with some of your problems and then let you in...  
  
"What problems?  
  
"Lemme show you.  
  
---  
  
Me: Ah, gomen for grossing you out, DW-chan! Bad HULY! Bad! But I found that fun and I'm happy now. Off to bed and to write some evil Tohma fics. Ja! 


	7. Your Questions Answered!

Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairings: Screw this. Is there really any romantic shit going on? NO!! So I'm not going to fill this out no more. In your face, you bastards from LYPD Green! But... There are going to be non-cannon pairings and changes in the future, so please look out.  
  
Summary: The result of OD's of sugar, TV, and milk, the strange writer, HULY has created yet another odd adventure that erases the line between so bad it's funny and so funny it's bad. When Shuichi receives a bottle of milk from an American Bad Luck fan, he decides that it's the best thing ever. (Other than Yuki, Ryuichi, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, and Yuki, that is) After his idol tries some, the both set off on a quest; to get more Oakhurst milk, which is only available in one of the united states furthest from Japan: Maine. Now, we all know how stupid Shuichi and Ryuichi can be, and we're not alone. Yuki and Tatsuha also know this. And Tohma just wants an excuse to stalk Yuki. Now, this chapter is a special chapter, and it explains everything you wanted to know, but didn't.  
  
Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Kami-sama. I mean, Murakami-sama, but hell. What's the difference?  
  
Warnings: The consumption of meat and not in a sexual way. Why am I warning you about this? Well, because I know three vegetarians are reading this. Raynedark, Sage Cedar, and me. Oh, and another warning: brief reviewer bashing. Not just of one of you, but every single one. I still love you guys, though. Urm... Guys and girls and my dog, Tea. (And that's pronounced TAY-YUH. Like the evil Anzu in the Yu-Gi-Oh dub.)  
  
Key: :: Yuki's thoughts :: No Shu-chan POV or other POV for this chappie.  
  
And before I respond to your reviews, I would just like to say this.  
  
This.  
  
Okay, on to your reviews...  
  
Chibi-Inu-Yokai - Hey there, koi. Shuichi is funny when hyper and tell Kikyou and Kagome I say hi, too, and that I'm underage, so I'm not. Waaa... I'll read Legend Of The Hanyou once I've read more of Inuyasha, 'cause I don't want anymore spoilers than I've already got. Glad you like the story!  
  
Ashura Akuma - There may not be anymore of that last extra, but there is more of Shuichi's Chase. Glad you liked the Seguchi's house of hell thing!  
  
Raynedark - They will find the milk eventually. No one should live without milk. NO ONE!!!! I cry at the thought of a milk-deprived person. But don't throw away anymore milk in the reviews you give me. I love milk, as you know, and I find that offensive.  
  
Sage Cedar - Glad you liked it and that I'm rubbing off on you! BTW, that game you gave me won't work for me. That sucks...  
  
Darklore Wings - ...Are you going to want to finish the remixes?  
  
And before I stop procrastinating, I'd just like to remind you that I write many varieties of stories - the majority of which are Gravitation - and you don't read them. So read them! That is not a request. Like the "Everybody Dance Now" chick, I am ordering you to read my other stories when you see them. And, if possible, watch I Love The 90's reruns and Michael Ian Black. YAY MICHAEL!!!  
  
---  
  
This chapter is dedicated to the person I love the most, despite her not noticing it for ages.  
  
Uh... What should I call you?  
  
I'd think, but it's not good for me, as you know.  
  
Well, you know who you are, so, yeah.  
  
Sorry about letting my sadistic side have the better of me for ages!  
  
Thanks for curin' my block!  
  
Love ya!  
  
Hope ya appreciate the update!  
  
---  
  
Chapter Seven: Your Questions Answered In The Form Of A Dream-Flashback Thingy!  
  
(A/N: Oops... Sorry. Here's what the REAL title is.)  
  
The Chapter That Really Isn't One And Is Just An Update That Goes Along Kinda With The Story line The Questions Answered That You Idiots Were Too Dumb To Ask Me In The Form Of The Chinese Food Incident Which Probably No One Remembers Or Even Noticed From Chapter One And Is In No Way Related To That Dumb Remake Of Freaky Friday And I Just Love Making Long Chapter Names Wee Hoo Hoo If You Read This Whole Thing Congrats You're Cool And I Miss My Godzilla Backpack With My Tamaguchis Waaa I'm Sad And Nostalgic Though The Anti Is A Good Song And I'm Going To Stop Now Before I Lose Any More Reviewers  
  
---  
  
Explanation:  
  
You might be wondering what the chapter name is about. Well, most of it is just really random things I put in 'cause I'm weird. But the stuff about you people were too stupid - or polite - to point out.  
  
Such as, Tatsuha calling Yuki onichan. Tatsuha SHOULD only call him that when he's sucking up.  
  
And, the real thing that made me doubt your intelligence, the fact that Ryuichi can't speak English, even though he can properly translate the note that Shuichi gave him. And on top of that, according to the third Gravi book, Ryuichi speaks English better than he does Japanese. Jeez, people! How could you not notice THAT?! And I thought you guys were more intelligent than average humans.  
  
I'll bet you think I'm really smart, testing you by putting in those crafty mistakes.  
  
Um... If you think that, you're more dumb than I thought.  
  
'Cause guess what?! They're just really stupid mistakes that I made that I feel I should make up for and via the briefly mentioned Chinese Food incident.  
  
So, uh, yeah. Here it is. Just enjoy or whatever.  
  
---  
  
"Yuukiiiiiii... Why do I have to come to Seguchi-san's and Mika-san's anniversary?"  
  
Shuichi pulls at the tie around his neck.  
  
I glance at him in the mirror.  
  
"If you want to be my lover, you've gotta get with my family.  
  
"Make it last forever, ya mean? 'Cause family never ends, right?"  
  
He grins at me happily.  
  
"Uh... No, it's more like you have to share the pain. Especially after all the crap you put me through."  
  
His smiling face turns into a sobbing one.  
  
A really cute sobbing one.  
  
:: Ah, sweet sadism. ::  
  
"Look," I roll my eyes, still fixing my collar. "All you've gotta do there is shut up, look cute, tell 'em your order, and eat their food."  
  
"But-" The genki that was there returns to Shuichi's face. "Wait, there's food? What kind?"  
  
"Chinese, you little fucking glutton." I turn away from the mirror and glare at him.  
  
He sticks out his tongue angrily.  
  
And we both know that we care.  
  
- At the restaurant... -  
  
"Hello." An obviously Chinese woman bows to me, smiling. "And how is I to be seating you?"  
  
"We're with the Seguchi party." I tell her, not trying to hide any annoyance I feel towards her horrible grammar.  
  
"Ah. Is to be being 5th wedding party, yes?"  
  
(A/N: No clue on how long the fruitcake and Mika've been married. Sorry.)  
  
"Uh... Yeah. Could you just show us where they are?"  
  
:: Ha fucking ha. These people don't no diddly shit about Japanese. ::  
  
"Oh, I is being sorry. No me can doing. You is could being evil stalker monster psycho. You no come in with party, you no be seated."  
  
And she says it all with a smile.  
  
:: WHAT THE HELL?! ::  
  
"Listen, y-"  
  
Before I can even start to express my extreme hatred for this McDonalds-brand bitch, Shuichi cuts in.  
  
"LISTEN UP, YOU MEANIE SKIRT LADY!!! I WANNA EAT, AND WHEN I DON'T GET WHAT I WANT, PEOPLE GET THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF THEM BY YUKI!!!"  
  
"I is no to be knowing what you say. If you not be minding, you is be could repeating that, yes?"  
  
She's still smiling.  
  
Shuichi's still hungry.  
  
And I'm still pissed.  
  
"Oh, Shindou-san! I thought I heard you." My stalker's cousin seems to appear out of nowhere. "What's wrong?"  
  
"This lady won't lemme eat 'cause we is could being evil stalker monster psychos 'cause we no come in with party so we no be seated!"  
  
"Is that all?" Fujisaki turns to the woman and says something in Chinese.  
  
She says something too, and they both laugh.  
  
"Go, go to your cousin you being with your friends."  
  
"Thank you so very much!"  
  
Fujisaki turns and walks away, while Shuichi and I follow.  
  
"Hey Suguru."  
  
"Yes, Eiri-san?"  
  
"What'd you say to her?"  
  
"Oh, I just told her that I know where she lives and I'd make her suffer until the end of eternity if she didn't let you come with me."  
  
"Jeez... That's it?"  
  
"I already blackmailed the valet, the busboy, two janitors, and all the chefs, so I'm kinda dried up on threats."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Whatever."  
  
We arrive to a full table.  
  
Tohma sniffs the air.  
  
"Is that..." He looks at me. "Eiri-san! I thought I smelled you! C'mon, have a seat next to me!"  
  
:: He can smell me? ::  
  
"Uh... But there aren't any free seats next to you."  
  
"Of course there aren't! You can sit on my lap, okay?"  
  
He smiles at me hopefully.  
  
I notice a silently waving Tatsuha, pointing to two empty seats next to him.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks."  
  
I grab Shuichi and quickly go over to my brother.  
  
As we sit down, I let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"I really saved your pretty, little writer's ass there, didn't I, aniki?"  
  
"Did you honestly think I'd sit in that chick-dude's lap?! Are you fucking high?!"  
  
"....Maybe."  
  
"Yuuuukiiiiiiiiiii..." Shuichi pulls at my sleeve. "I'm hungry. When's the food gonna get here?"  
  
"Like I have any fucking clue. You know, Tatsuha?"  
  
"Beats the hell outa me. Mika and Tohma preordered, like, last week or somethin', so I've got no fucking clue when or what the food is."  
  
I twitch at his error in grammar.  
  
"There is no such thing as 'when the food is,' you mongoloid."  
  
"You fucking write too much, you know that? Nobody can make one fucking mistake without you freaking your ass off and telling us to shove a dictionary up our own."  
  
"And I care why?!"  
  
"I could care less about you caring."  
  
"Which means you DO care if I care or not."  
  
"Would you fucking shut up?!"  
  
"No."  
  
"FINE!"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"...Did Shuichi go to the bathroom or somethin'?"  
  
"I dunno. Why?"  
  
"'Cause he sure as shit Aint here."  
  
"He'll back back in a few minutes."  
  
"'Kay. Whatever you say, aniki."  
  
And with that, we glare at the walls.  
  
Both pissed for separate reasons.  
  
Three seconds go by, and I begin to wonder where the fuck that goddammed punk's gone off to.  
  
And I'm not worried. I just wanna fucking know.  
  
Before I can ponder all the possible disasters he could've - and probably has - gotten himself into, I hear that familiar happy voice that my brother adores so much.  
  
"HEY THERE, EVERYBODY NA NO DA!!!!"  
  
The genki-filled 31-year-old idol of my lover bounces over and sits down across from Tatsuha and I. He also carefully places his stuffed rabbit in the chair next to him.  
  
"Eh? Yuki-san? Where's Shuichi na no ka? Kumagoro's curious 'cause Shuichi is always with meanie pants Yuki no da."  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Huh?! Yuki-san! You're a bad lover no da! Shuichi could be in real danger! Don't you care na no ka?"  
  
"No, not really. If you're so worried, then why don't you go look for him?"  
  
"Great idea na no da!" Sakuma Ryuichi picks up his little stuffed friend. "C'mon, Kumagoro-kun! We've gotta go save Shuichi no da!"  
  
:: Why the hell is it named "Mister Bear" if it's a rabbit? ::  
  
"Aren't you gonna come with us, Yuki-san no ka? 'Cause it'd be mean if ya didn't."  
  
"I really couldn't care less about Shuichi Shindou at the moment, but what the fucking hell?"  
  
"YUKI-SAN!!!" He covers up the rabbit's ears. "Kumagoro isn't s'posed ta hear that sorta language no da!"  
  
"Whatever. Do you want to find Shuichi or not?"  
  
"A'course I do! But we need one more person to join us no da."  
  
Tatsuha is already way ahead of Ryuichi and standing right behind him.  
  
"I'll come with you!"  
  
"Sugoi!" Ryuichi waves his hand in the air energetically. "Tohma! Me, Tatsuha-san, Yuki-san, and Kumagoro-kun are gonna find Shuichi!"  
  
"Eh? Is Shindou-san missing?"  
  
"Yup!"  
  
"WHAAAAAT?!" yell more than one of the people present.  
  
"S-Shuichi's gone?!" Hiroshi slams his fist against the table. "Dammit! I just KNOW Taki had something to do with this!"  
  
"HOW COULD SHINDOU-KUN GO MISSING?!" Seguchi's dog boy starts to wail. "WE HAVEN'T FINISHED THE NEW ALBUM YET!!!!"  
  
"So... Shuichi chickened out on us, huh?" Mister K takes a gun out of God knows where. "I'll teach that little fuck a lesson or two."  
  
"Sucks for you." Fujisaki shrugs.  
  
Everyone glares at him.  
  
"Why don't all you boys go looking for him?" Mika suggests. "Otou-san, Ayaka-chan, Noriko-chan, and I'll just stay here."  
  
My father gives her an unappreciative glance and eats a piece of chicken.  
  
(A/N: EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all the meat you will find in this chapter. Thank Utena for that!)  
  
"Cool no da!" Ryuichi smiles happily. "Now we're sure to find Shuichi na no da!"  
  
:: Now we've got me, Tatsuha, Sakuma, Suguru, K, Sakano, Tohma, Nakano, and that fucking little pink rabbit on a search party for my idiot of a lover. ::  
  
:: I'll bet he's just on the fucking shitter or something. ::  
  
:: This is so damn stupid... ::  
  
"So..." Nakano starts "Where should we look first?"  
  
"The bathroom, of course." Fujisaki says, clearly annoyed.  
  
:: My thoughts exactly. Thank you, God, for blessing me with this person who finds Shuichi as much of an ass as I do and also has more than six brain cells! ::  
  
"Good idea!" Shuichi's manager says in English, smiling and still brandishing his gun. "Come along, everyone! Let's get cracking!"  
  
-In the men's room...-  
  
"He's not here."  
  
"No shit, Sherlock." Fujisaki snaps. "Now let's get a move on. I don't think this bathroom is supposed to hold this many fucking people!"  
  
"Really, Fujisaki-kun?" says a very happy Tohma, squished against me. "I'm quite comfortable. And if we were doing that, I'm quite sure we could fit then..."  
  
There are a number of shudders and winces across the room, and surprisingly enough, none from Seguchi's clone.  
  
:: Maybe I shouldn't be glad that he's around... ::  
  
"OKAY!!! Let's just get the hell out of here and go look in the kitchen." Another clearly annoyed and disgusted person, Nakano, who is smushed behind my brother, glares around the room. "I know Shuichi, and what he likes is food."  
  
"Okay! Let's go!" The American leads the way again, this time to the kitchen across the hall.  
  
A number of people about to go to the rest room, give us awkward looks, and back away.  
  
Ignoring the innocent bystander, K pushes on the door to the food making room.  
  
"It's locked."  
  
"Sucks for you." Fujisaki says again, apathetically.  
  
Yet again, he receives many unappreciative glares.  
  
"Shuichi! Are you in there no ka?" calls Ryuichi.  
  
There is a muffled voice from the other room, and the door swings open.  
  
"Ranma?" asks a girl with long purple hair and two buns.  
  
She blinks twice.  
  
We blink twice.  
  
"Have you seen my pico-pico friend Shu-chan no ka? He's got the same color hair as Kumagoro-kun!" Sakuma holds up his little pink friend. "He's missing na no da!"  
  
"You no Ranma!" The girl glares at him. "Shampoo want Ranma, not pink rabbit boy!"  
  
"Wait. Your name is Shampoo?" Fujisaki lets out a snort.  
  
"Me Shampoo, yes. And you dead, yes."  
  
With that, the girl named after shit you put in your hair blew some weird powder on us and we all fell unconscious.  
  
-Lord knows how much later, in the kitchen, I think...-  
  
I open my eyes, groggily, and find myself tied to someone.  
  
"Wha--"  
  
"Ah, Yuki-san! So you're the one I'm tied to!" I hear a laugh with a heavy American accent behind me. "Nice to know you're not Tohma!"  
  
"Lucky for you guys..." says a very sad and disgusted Fujisaki.  
  
"It's not like I want to be tied to YOU, you little brat." Tohma, for the first time that I've heard, actually sounds pissed and upset.  
  
"Yukiiiiii?" That whiney voice is one I'd know anywhere. "Did I hear you? Yukiiiiiiiii..."  
  
"Yes, now shut the fuck up and tell me what the hell is going on."  
  
"I tell you." The Shampoo girl, who is now sitting on my head, sounds even more irked than Seguchi. "That little strawberry head boy ruin plan for be steal Ranma. And for that, Shampoo no let him or his friend peoples go."  
  
"But then you'd be stuck with us." Nakano points out. "And us means Shuichi."  
  
"Ooh... Good point you be having, yes. Hm... Maybe I just be put curse on you with thing I would be put on Akane."  
  
She gets up and unties everyone, though we're all still petrified.  
  
She then stands us all up in a line.  
  
We're in the order of me, Shuichi, K, Sakano, Nakano, Sakuma and Mister Bear, Tohma, Tatsuha, and Fujisaki.  
  
Shampoo stands in front of me.  
  
"You I curse with writer wall at worst time possible." She then continues down the line, pouring some liquid on us at the same time. "You I curse with impotence every other time. You I curse with pervert son. You I curse with stalker. You I curse with permanent PMS girlfriend. You I curse with no speak ability of better language. You I curse with incest relations. You I curse with affection change at worst time possible and respect for your brother because you be say sick things in your sleep. And you I curse with happy smile for eight month."  
  
:: So... I'm gonna get writer's block when I don't want it, Shuichi isn't gonna be good ever other time we screw, K's gonna get a horny kid, Sakano's gonna get a stalker, Ayaka's gonna be a bitch 24-7, Sakuma can't speak English any more, Tohma's do it with a member of his family, Tatsuha's gonna stop liking Ryuichi just when things are going his way and he has to respect me just because he was talking in his sleep. ::  
  
Tohma is the only one who looks happy about his curse.  
  
And so, that, we go on with our lives, not knowing when the curse is going to hit.  
  
-And that's your explanation-  
  
---  
  
HULY: Okay. So the reason I've delayed continuing the story is I need to ask you all a question. Should I bring in the rest of the Bad Luck and NG crew - as in Noriko, K-san, Fujisaki, Hiroshi, and Sakano - with the POV of Hiro, or would that be too many people? Just wondering, 'cause that would confirm what the next chappie would be. If you don't answer, it's going on your record. I'm very sorry that this chapter was very flawed, but writer's block or not, I'm not very good at making a story at practically midnight after having two sleep overs in one week and going to a fair. And that - surprisingly enough - is basically all I have to say for now. Ranma, Akane, Shampoo and anyone else from Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This is a rabid Tatsuha/Hiroshi fan signing off! Ja! 


End file.
